Help my unbelief

Lord, I love You. Heal my hatred of You.

Spoiled

Well. Nuts. I hear it said that the way one learns to relate to his or her parents is the way one learns to relate to God. And I think, “Yeah, that makes sense. Your parents are your introduction to authority. Of course whatever you feel about them would subconsciously transfer to your feelings about […]

Confessions

This is true in my heart. It isn’t true in reality. But for my heart to finally embrace reality it has to take what it believes and let it go. God, I’m sorry, and I give this all to You: You failed me. A thousand times You failed me. Ten thousand times You abandoned me. […]

I feel like Job

I haven’t lost my family, health, or wealth, Maybe because my family imploded before it started, my health was never fully mine (hi, depression), and I never had any wealth to speak of as far as my culture is concerned. God, it’s REALLY hard to like You right now. It doesn’t look like You like […]

Thirty-one

In younger days through melancholy haze I’d write sorrowful songs to music I couldn’t play about feelings that didn’t stay and a life that didn’t belong in the dreams of my world, nor the screams when I curled around my knees deep in the night. I wouldn’t fight; I couldn’t fight. So demons I made […]

Psalm 151

God, I’m angry with You. I know You don’t deserve it, but I still am because it feels like You do. My life doesn’t go the way I think it should. As much as I can look back and see how You’ve guided me in the past, I still can’t see clearly where you’re leading […]