Overcoming my demon: fear

There isn’t much I’ve been unwilling to lay bare about myself in the hopes of helping others who may be experiencing similar situations or issues. One such issue I’ve written a good deal about is my lifelong struggle with panic and depression. It’s not a topic I enjoy writing or talking about because of how […]

When I’m not even sure how to live

I’m an expert at over-analyzing things, especially when it comes to myself. I’ll pick apart in detail how I reacted in situations in order to determine if I responded in the most ideal ways. I’ll beat myself up over and over again regarding mistakes I know I’ve made and over things that may have not […]

When Christmas isn’t very merry

Emotions are strange. We all experience them at different levels of intensity. I’m sure that in a way our experience of each is slightly unique from one another, too. Sometimes we have a decent degree of control over how we feel while at other times we’re seemingly helpless. As is the case with many holidays, […]

Struggling with Easter

Recently, Easter has become a difficult time for me. Identifying God’s love through the events of Holy Week and Easter is a challenge for me. Finding God’s love and receiving it are things I’m not all that gifted at in general, though I have had small numbers of breakthroughs over the past several years. A […]

The humbling and the emptying

Communication stinks, doesn’t it? How many problems are simply caused by either the inability of one person to accurately explain something to another or the other person’s inability to fully understand what the first person was trying to say? Or both? One of the frustrating things about words is that they are limited. We only […]

Wrestling

I’ve decided to be real with God. I’ve been open and honest about my thoughts and feelings in general, but I haven’t directed them to God. I’ve given them to God; I’ve talked about them to God; but I haven’t talked to God about them. So now I am, in total honesty, like a psalm, […]

Where is hope?

When your life has come to an end, what do you want your legacy to be? I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. My opening course in seminary focuses on understanding what it means to be “called” to vocations or situations in life, and the emphasis is on understanding the deepest desires of our […]