My spiritual autobiography

The following is a brief autobiography, as submitted as my first paper for a class I am taking at Asbury Theological Seminary: “Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint [or ‘the people are discouraged’], but blessed is he who keeps the law.” So states Proverbs 29:18 in the English Standard Version, […]

Möbius

This is a humbling place to be Where I’m stripped of all pretensions Even the self-fabricated ones I use to placate myself Caught between confusion, chaos and nihilism Bitterness feels like it’s boring Numb beyond numb, but that’s only on the surface I have no hopes left but You, and by that I mean I’m […]

God is good?

Sometimes I think I’m insane for being a Christian. Time and again I fall for the devil’s oldest temptation: God is holding out on you. I believe it; I grab control of my life back from God; I do something that I think will make me happy; then I watch as my life implodes in […]

Calloused dragon heart

Ice impulse fire Can you feel any more? Is there bone for skin beneath the breath of this facade? Where is the purchase beyond mirror and smoke? Grace, soiled in fragmentation Sprout through this caked earth And blossom.

Where is hope?

When your life has come to an end, what do you want your legacy to be? I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. My opening course in seminary focuses on understanding what it means to be “called” to vocations or situations in life, and the emphasis is on understanding the deepest desires of our […]

Acceptance

I’m an idolator at the foot of the Altar to My Idealized Vision of Myself. I’m a Pharisee and this is my Law. Wrapped up in mostly-truths and mostly-pure motivations for sanctification. I surely know my identity, but I’ve confused that with knowing who the man I’m supposed to be is. But I don’t, and […]

Wrestling with God in the dock

God, I admit I want to put You on trial. I want to hold You accountable for all evil, injustice, and pain. I guess it’s because I’ve bought into the lie that You aren’t actually Good, and if someone doesn’t hold You accountable – even some insignificant creature You made – then who will? I […]